Of Dreams and Deep Voices
by live.in.books
Summary: Just a little bit of fun, starring Benedict Cumberbatch.


**_This is something a little different to what I normally write. It's a dream I had a couple of nights ago, that was so amazing I just had to type it up. Everything that happens in this story was in my dream. I just spiced a couple of parts up a little bit, so that it would make a better story. Hope you enjoy! (:_**

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When you walk into the house, the first thing you notice is a man. He is tall, even sitting down, legs sprawled everywhere, nose buried in a book. A strand of curly hair flops over his forehead, causing him to push it away impatiently. The second thing that captures your attention is the room he is sitting in. It is breathtaking, full of light colours, fresh air and a large trade aid rug on the floor. One wall, the largest in the room, is dedicated to books. Large books, old books, books in other languages, fiction, non-fiction, classics… Every centimeter of that wall is covered in one of the most spectacular displays of bibliophilism you can find.

The man, turning another page, did not hear the first knock on the door. It was an apologetic, half-hearted knock and just listening to it, gave a sense of someone about to deliver bad news. It knocked again, harder this time. Finally, the man looked up from his book, a slight crinkle of annoyance at the bridge of his nose.

'Who is it?' he called, in a deep, melodic voice.

'Just me, Scotty' replied a thickset, tough-looking man, who wore the insignia of a bodyguard.

'And what can I do for you Scotty? Is it the press again, wanting to get just one word with Mr Benedict Cumberbatch?' replied the first man, his voice taking on the weary resignation that came from endless repetition of journalists.

'Worse sir. It's a Mister… Justin Bieber, wanting a word with you.'

Benedict turned, picked up his book and continued reading. 'Tell him I'm busy, please. And that I will continue to be busy for a long time, so if he could please leave a message, I will get back to him within the next ten years.' The head of security, Scotty, laughed. He shared Benedict's dislike of the popstar, and was more than happy to discommode him.

'Let me tell him that, sir. Hopefully he'll just move right on.'

Scotty headed back downstairs to dismiss Justin, leaving Benedict turning the pages of his book. Unfortunately, the peace was not to last long, and the head of security was forced to disturb Benedict again.  
'Sir? Bad news I'm afraid. He says he won't leave until he sees you, and that, being one of the most famous stars in all the world, he doesn't like to be kept waiting.' Benedict groaned eloquently. 'I do have a suggestion sir. Agree to see him, keep it short if you can, and if not, keep it fun. If you catch my drift.' Benedict looked up, and finally there was a ghost of a smile on his pale face.

'Send him in, then. Time to treat the devil with his own fire.'

Scotty left for the second time, and Benedict looked regretfully at his book, before laying it down carefully on a table. Then, sitting in his chair once again, he stared expectantly at the door, waiting to see what Justin wanted. He didn't have long to wait. Justin burst through the door moments later, with a huge scowl on his face.

'What took you so long? I am like, so much more famous and rich at 19 than you are at 37, so I don't deserve to be kept waiting like that. You better treat me with some respect.' Benedict glanced at Scotty, as if to ask how much longer he had to put up with this, but the head of security was too busy glaring at the singer to notice.

'Anyway, I'm not here for fun,' continued Justin, 'I like need something from you, and you are going to give it to me. Preferably now, because I'm a busy person and I have a life. So, you have this really deep voice, and I have a really high one and it sucks. I want you to teach me how to have a deep voice like yours and then people will stop saying that I never went through puberty. Because, I have you know. And I'm better than that.'

Benedict clasped his hands in front of his face, mirroring Sherlock Holmes. However, it was hard to tell if he thinking deeply, or just trying to hide his laughter. He then, after catching a meaningful glance from Scotty, began to speak.

'I'm glad you came to me Justin. As it turns out, I am currently writing a how-to-book on how to make one's voice deep like mine. You see, my voice used to be much more similar to yours, so I developed some exercises that really helped. If you agree, I would like to try some of these exercises on you, and film them, so that I can prove their validity.'

Justin smiled proudly. He was vain and clearly loved the idea of being on video, and being the proof that you could change your voice. 'When can we begin?' he asked impatiently. Benedict smiled back. 'Right now.'

'Right, first of all, how old are you?'

'19.'

'Not exact enough, I need days as well.'

Justin paused, before rudely yelling to his bodyguard, 'Oi! How old am I? How many days? Work it our for me, I can't be bothered.' Benedict frowned, irritated by the lack of courtesy.

'19 years and 265 days,' grunted Justin's bodyguard. Benedict nodded his thanks at the man, before addressing Justin again.

'Please figure out for me how many days that is in total. There's an optimum age span for these exercises. So depending whereabouts you are in this span, you get different exercises to do. But, before you ask your bodyguard again, I must tell you that you have to work this out yourself. And don't forget leap years.'

Justin stared at Benedict incredulously, but to no avail. Benedict just picked up his book and started reading. One and a half chapters later, a battle had been fought, won, ten minutes of real life had passed, and Justin finally figured out his age.

'7025 days.'

Benedict started. He was so engrossed in his book that he completely forgot Justin was there. To cover up his lapse in concentration, he started waffling on.

'Oh dear, you have come to me in the worst age range possible. Any older and it would not work, any younger and it would have been far simpler. I'm afraid you are going to have to do the worst exercises, and begin immediately or we will have no hope.' He stood up and began pacing the room.

'First of all, I need you to relax your vocal chords. Open your mouth wide, and do a big AHHHH sound for me. Nice and loud, for as long as you can. That's it. Now do it again, but pretend you have a double chin, and as you sing you are shaking that double chin.' Justin complied, although he kept shooting shifty glances at the cameras, which were following his every move.

He was then instructed to do a handstand and sing, before putting undies on his head and making train noises. However, Justin stopped at this stage. 'I refuse. I look ridiculous, I feel ridiculous and I don't see how this is going to help my voice become deeper in any way.'

Benedict raised his hands apologetically. 'I know, it's hard. But you have to be worthy of a low voice. All these exercises are designed to force you to embrace the lowness. To speak low, you have to think low and you have to be low. I went through all this, and humiliating as it is, you will too and be grateful that you did. Now this next step, should you choose to continue, is much easier. Just stand by the window, and yell out this phrase as loud as you can.' He held out a piece of paper to Justin, who hesitated, then took it.

'TOIDI ELBILLUG A MA I!' he yelled, causing the roosting pigeons to fly away in shock. Benedict then handed the sheet of paper, along with a mirror to Scotty, asking him to take care of it. Scotty nodded, then laughed as he saw what Justin had just yelled out to the world. Benedict then bustled into the kitchen, bringing out a steaming cup of fragrant tea.

'This,' he announced triumphantly, 'is my special tea, which helps to stimulate deepness and is the secret to my success. Here, drink some Justin.' He handed over the mug and stood beside Scotty.

'Sir, if you don't mind me asking, what's in that tea?'

'A mix of English breakfast, Earl Gray, peppermint essence, green tea, lemon juice, and a couple of real flowers from the garden. Tastes foul.' It was as if Fate was listening, because as soon as Benedict finished speaking, Justin took a sip, and immediately spit it out the window.

'That stuff is foul! Work on your tea making, would you.'

Benedict, with an amused grin on his face, turned back to Justin. 'For it to work, you have to hold it in your mouth while I chant. Then you can swallow. Finally you blow bubbles in it and throw it out the window.' He closed his eyes and started dancing and chanting around the room. Justin also closed his eyes, before gulping back a mouthful and holding it in his mouth with a grimace.

Scotty suddenly cut in. 'Mr Cumberbatch, sir, you missed a step.' Ben turned around to face his head of security, confused. 'You did, sir. It was three steps back, but I couldn't interrupt at that point. But if you do it now, it will still work.'

'What step have I missed, old chap? Can't think of it right now.'

'Well he has to impersonate a velociraptor of course.'

'Ahhh, yes. This is indeed an important step. Hop to it, Justin.'

With an anguished look, Justin strode around the room, mimicking the dinosaur to the best of his abilities. In the corner, Scotty and Benedict were trying valiantly to hide their laughter, but to no avail. A loud guffaw from Scotty caused Justin to pause and glare at him angrily.

'You can laugh now, but just you wait until my voice is deeper. Sounds to me like you would benefit from these exercises too, Mr Security.' Benedict stepped towards Justin, furious that he had insulted Scotty, who apart from being his head of security, was also his friend.

'There is just one more step, Mr Bieber' Benedict said coldly, 'If you would face the camera, and read this statement out please. Afterwards, you need to leave and not speak another word for four days. On the morning of the fifth day, you will wake up and your voice will be deeper than you ever dreamed.' He handed Justin another piece of paper, and gestured towards the camera. Justin eagerly stepped forward and began to read.

'I, Justin Bieber, have hereby completed the deep voice instigator. I have undertaken a variety of exercises, and in four days my voice shall be deep and wonderful. I agree that this video shall not be deleted, and will be shown to whomever wishes to see it. I also understand that these exercises are a fraud, I have been pranked and have just made a complete fool of myself.' Justin stopped speaking and stared at Benedict. 'You… you… How dare you do this to me!'

Scotty stepped forward. 'The door is this way, Mr Bieber. If you would follow me to your car, you can leave immediately and not return.' Justin turned and stormed out the door, furious. Benedict smiled at his back, and turned back to his book. He turned the page, settled more comfortably, and laughed at the aptness of the next sentence.

'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.' Something, thought Benedict, is necessary that we all remember from time to time.

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_**So that was just a little bit of fun. Tell me what you think! I have a plan for another story starting to form in my mind, so hopefully I will post that one over the next couple of weeks. I have my last exam in three days, then I will have finished school for the year, so I will finally have more time to write! Woo!**_


End file.
